Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Trapped

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

Facebook is a trap. I walked right into it and now I can feel the vise-like grip of it like a digital bear-trap snapped tight around my ankle.

I never intended to join Facebook. Social networking didn’t interest me at first. I don’t think of myself as a very social person and the notion of connecting to long-lost friends and relations wasn’t that appealing. After all, if I wanted to be in touch with those folks, why did I stop talking to them in the first place?

A few years ago I was working on a contract job. The company was involved in producing an interesting preferences engine, a system to help you discover media you might liked based on things that people like you also like. Facebook was a target platform for the companies products and they were working in integrating with it. And the work the I was doing at the time dovetailed into the Facebook integration work. And to be a Facebook developer, you have to be a Facebook member. And so I signed up, never intending to use it for anything more than getting my job done. But the trap was now set and armed.

I left that contract a few weeks later and moved on to other things. I pretty much forgot about my Facebook account.no logging in, no connecting, nothing. But the trap was still laying in my path, taut springs ready to snap the jaws shut on a misplaced limb.

I don’t really remember why I picked up Facebook again. I have a vague recollection of some one asking me if they could connect to me that way and responding in the affirmative. The details from there are hazier than a Haight-Ashbury head shop. But somewhere in there, I stepped on the trap and SNAP! I was caught.

Over the next year or so, I began to use Facebook a bit more. I tied it to my Flickr account, set up Twitter to feed my status and even connected this blog to it. All in the name of sharing more with my growing “social graph”. And I’ll admit, I started to see some value in the connections. Even with my antisocial tendencies it has been nice to hear from friends and colleagues from the mists of time and places long forgotten.

I never had any illusions about the privacy implications of exposing parts of my life on the Web. I’m fully aware that what I choose to share is immediately added to the ever-growing information doppelgänger being constructed in the dark corners of corporate databases across the Internet. And I’m aware that the creators of this other me—this homunculus made not of my flesh but of my digital life—are busy gathering even more information, things that I’m not even consciously aware of having shared and binding that to into their creation.

So I’m not naive about the implications of participating in the Facebook’s of the world; I am aware of the price and many times I have been willing to pay it. Gladly.

But the cost of being a member of the Facebook community is now too high. It has become painfully obvious that the primary goal of Facebook crew to do whatever they see fit with the information in their system, regardless of the desires of the owners of that information. I won’t hash out all the problems with Facebook’s stance on privacy; Jason Calacanis does great job of that is his latest email. However, any illusion or lingering naivety I may have had has been stripped away and all that left is a clear view of the trap.

But I think I can escape from the trap. I don’t have to play Mark Zuckerberg’s game and I don’t have to keep feeding Facebook. It a sad truth that I’ll never be able to kill my Facebook doppelgänger entirely. They’ve already got information about me that it’s clear I won’t eve be able to erase. But I don’t have to keep letting them have my information.

So I’m disconnecting myself from Facebook. I’ve already pulled a few of the connections to other source. And As soon I finish taking the thing I want and getting rid of as much as I can, i’m going to deactivate my account and throw away the password.

I’m going to get out of this trap, even if it means cutting off a part of myself to get free.

Taking a Leap

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

So, I quit my job.

After three years in my current role, I recently decided that the time had come (and possibly gone) to leave. I was feeling like things weren’t going in a direction that worked for me. The people at my soon-to-be former company are great. I would work with many of them again in a minute. But as an enterprise I just do not feel that things were working out.

So where does that leave me employment-wise?

I am going to try giving freelancing a try for a while. This is a risky thing to do; I have a family to support and there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to drum up enough work. And with both Karen and I working from home full time, we’re going to loose the corporate health insurance safety net.

But I think the risk is worth it and that I have a lot to gain from trying to go it alone for a while. The opportunities and possibilities I see before me are exciting and energizing. And I think that taking a risk is the only way to get where I want to be in life.

Will this work? I don’t know. But I am ready to take the leap.

The Land of Half-Done

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I live in the Land of Half-Done.

Our house is always a mess. Always. My wife and I have now lived together in three homes over 14 years and in all that time, I cannot recall a single time period of longer that a week when our place was not a mess.

It’s the classical modern problem: too much stuff, not enough space, and no energy to do anything about it. But that’s not the whole story. No, the truth is that sometime early in our relationship, we settled down in the Land of Half-Done.

The Land of Half-Done is a semi-magical place, where many plans are made, many projects are started, many dreams are dreamt, but nothing ever comes to fruition.

Dishes make it to the sink but never get washed. Picture frames are purchased but the prints never appear behind the mattes. Holiday cards are printed and addressed but never mailed. Old clothes are bagged but never make it to Goodwill.

It’s true that our house isn’t the largest; we’re packed in tight with three humans, two cats and a pair of goldfish. And it’s true that we have too much stuff packed in around us. However, the biggest problem is that there’s so much we never find the time to finish. And that’s the single greatest factor contributing to the piles of stuff in every room.

The trick is immediate follow-through. We’re not bad a starting things. It’s finding that extra “oomph” to finish. After dinner, the dishes have to get all the way to the washing machine, the soap needs to go in and the machine needs to be turned on. Right away. The clothes need to get taken out of the dryer, folded and put in the closest. Right away. And all of those projects we’ve started but are waiting for the time to finish, we’ve got to get pick them up again and knock them off, one by one. And before we start anything else.

It’s like a kata, a practiced set of choreographed moves that carry through from stance to stance. We need to learn the martial art of Clean Fu.

I live in the Land of Half-Done. And it’s time to emigrate.

Adventures in Babysitting

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

So there, I am sitting on the couch, punching keys on the old MacBook. The kiddo is upstairs, gated into her room, but obviously not asleep (based on the occasional footsteps and bumping). But I’m not concerned, since I know she’ll pass out soon.

Then I hear a little sound. *cough*…*cough*

I bound up the stairs, worried that perhaps my progeny is choking on a small toy or perhaps has strangled herself with the bed linens while trying to act out her fantasy of being a SCUBA diver.

And what do I find when I reach the room? My 2 year old standing at the gate across her threshold, slathered in Aquaphor. Oh my.

The kiddo is covered; her hands look like they’re in gooey mittens. She’s managed to smear the goop all over the gate and there’s some in her hair too. My wife has picked a perfect night to be out.

I grabbed the kiddo and rushed her across to the bathroom to assess the damage. Fortunately, it didn’t appear that she’d eaten any of the stuff and when I asked (fifteen or twenty times) she denied it. Ok, so she’s not going to keel over and I don’t have to call poison control. Whew!

Anyhow, we’re all cleaned up now and she’s finally asleep a mere three hours past bedtime. When I went to check on her a little while ago, she was sleeping on the floor, covered by a tiny quilt from her doll’s crib. And breathing like an angel.

So, what’s new?

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

Since my last post I have:

* Become an iPhone addict
* Become a Twitter addict (@stonehippo)
* Become a Facebook addict
* Become (more) of a TiVo addict
* Become a total, smacked-out junky for the kid. I didn’t know that it’s was possible to constantly find some new and amazing about single human being every 5 minutes. Live and learn.

2008 was a strange year. Amazing highs, incredible lows, and creamy centers, too. And I can’t believe the first decade of the 21st Century is already 80% over. I spent the first 27 years of my life waiting with baited breath for the new Millennium. And now it’s 8 wacky years in.

I’m working on my New Decade’s Resolutions. I know we’re got some time until this one’s done, but it’s best to be prepared. I’ve got a few that I’m already pretty sure I want at the top of the list and I’m going to try to get a jump on them now:

* Become a better father
* Become a better husband
* Become a genius inventor with super powers and a secret lair
* Cook at home more
* Get a new bike

I’ll let you know how it goes.